Following my scour of the internet for opinions on the new Asking Alexandria record, I realized that celebrities are an opinionated bunch when it comes to mainstream metalcore. With that in mind, what will a-list goons and internet tweetmonkeys feel about the pressing musical issue of A Day To Remember’s supposed upcoming album Common Courtesy?
Here’s the thing; the damned album was announced about a year ago with a single Violence. Since then, all we’ve had are terrible rap videos, and not much else. A whole year has gone by, with no album. While I’m not offended by this as much as I could be, legions of ADTR fans everywhere are starting to get proper peeved about the whole thing. Is the album unfinished? Is it so good that they’re making us wait and wait and starve us before releasing a feast of delicious breakdowns upon us? Is it shit?
So, once again, I’ve scoured the internet (to be more specific, Twitter.com) for celebrity reaction to the current scandal we’re enduring. Of course, A Day To Remember have an impact on pretty much any living matter on planet Earth, so finding these opinions and little witty quips wasn’t exactly slave labor.
Our first tweet comes from the romantic-turned-nervous wreck, Taylor Swift. She’s taken a minute out of her busy schedule of making men feel guilty to offer ADTR a chance to tour with her in the USA. While it’s unknown whether shes offering them a support slot to her brutal live show, or if she’s just humbly asking if she can support the band, it’s clear she’s really excited for what Common Courtesy will bring to the table. Taylor has been seen before at rock and metal shows, and then freaking out her Twitter followers by instagramming herself at a gig with the caption “having a great time at Kid Rock! He did the alabama song! woooohooooo!”. Rock on, Taylor. Rock the fuck on.
In a strange move at ITV, it appears everyone’s favorite colorful game-show shitting pillow-biter Stephen Mulhern is calling for more rowdy music to be used in the background of the talky bits of ITV2′s classic reality show spin off, The Xtra Factor. Having been spotted at meetings in Nickelback and Blood On The Dance Floor merch at the ITV studios, it was only a matter of time before Mulhern called for more rock music to be used for the show. It makes sense – if you want your TV show full of people singing the same old Snow Patrol and Adele songs to reach a wider audience, you’re gonna want some ADTR to liven the soup up a bit. Good choice Stephen, although why he tweeted the TV station that he works for is beyond us; in fact, their guess is as good as ours.
Some tweeters aren’t as thrilled as others about a new release however; a guy called Michael Bubble (we don’t know either but we have to pad this article out somehow) is questioning the need for a new partycore/pop-punk pizzacorexXx album floating around when everyone knows that Homesick was pretty much the start and the end for modern music in general. Michael also seemed to be eager to exercise his right to hashtag – can’t blame the chap, he IS on Twitter after all. We’re just guessing here, but we’re going to assume that Mr Bubble really enjoyed the acoustic song at the end of Homesick- it looks and sounds like his scene. “AND HEEEEY DARRRLING / I HOPE YOU’RE GOOD TONIIIIIIGHTTTTT…”
Another tweeter less than impressed with the lack of the album was footballer-turned-crisp whore Gary Lineker, who very openly voiced his distaste in the lack of communication from the band about where the fuck Common Courtesy is. After taking to twitter to rage about the issue, Gary was later scene in a local tattoo joint getting ‘xXLineker Straight HedgeXx’ tattoo’d on all 4 of his collapsible limbs and chest. While this decision may be one that Mr Salt & Vinegar will most definitely regret in the coming weeks, it’s imperative we look at the issue from his viewpoint. We all know what it’s like to not get what you want, when you want. Unless you work in the business of football, in which case, you get fucking anything you want in life.
Facebook newsfeed-ruiners The LAD Bible also joined in on the fun, speculating that the band are just being a couple of LADs by ‘trolling’ fans into thinking that the album exists. What ADTR might do after seeing that they’ve been featured on the quality social publication is make some sick memes that really express individuality in a way that people just haven’t seen before. Scumbag Steve? “Gets on LAD bible – Says LAD in every single spoken sentence”? Good Guy Greg? “Get’s on LAD bible – doesn’t put LAD in every song title”? However, the LADs at the LAD Bible have really brought to light the pressing subject that the album may well not exist…in which case, well done LADs. VigilanteLADs.
The last tweet of the day we’re speculating on is none other than the Lord God himself, Pope Francis. Everyone’s favorite children’ cartoon character that dressed in a white robe and drives the worlds most cheapest bubble-car took time out of his day to bless the band for being such AWESOME dudes. In fact, they didn’t even respond to him, which we find to be pretty rude of them. If you get blessed, you bless back. It’s common courtesy.
Coming soon on Sans Sheriff: Fuck it, we’ll stop blogging and become a Premiership football team since that’s where the money is these days
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We’d just like to point out that these tweets are entirely fictitious and were made in jest. Whether the pope rocks out to ADTR is his business, not ours, and we’re sorry. But yeah, don’t get all righteous on our collective ass.
- It’s the Fourth of July: Independence Day Boost the Economy (turbotax.intuit.com)
- Remember the Laborers on Labor Day Weekend (rotorooter.com)
- A Day To Remember release Common Courtesy (The Series) episode 1 (preferredpromos.wordpress.com)
- A Day To Remember Releases New Video (torontoconcertlife.wordpress.com)
- Enjoy Your Afternoon With A Day To Remember (chwomp.wordpress.com)
- Fire The Light – Monument (ADTR Cover) (firethelight.wordpress.com)